7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation by Charles Yallowitz

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I’m in love with dragons so I just had to re-post this by Charles Yallowtiz. Stay tune for information on his new book!

 

Toothless

Toothless

We’ve all been there.  Minding our own business when we stumble onto a sign that there are dragons nearby.  If we’re lucky, the beast is already gone or simply passing through the area.  Yet there are times where they stick around.  So here’s what to look for to see if you need an exterminator.

  1. You haven’t seen the cat in days.  Sure, Princess Tangerine wanders off from time to time.  This feels different.  Maybe it’s because she hasn’t reacted to you running the can opener over a loudspeaker.  Could even be the that her food bowl is missing . . . along with the floor it was on.
  2. There’s a lot of smoke in and around the house.  You’ve called the fire department, but that hasn’t stopped the problem.  Then again, the truck has been outside for the last few days, so maybe it’s a really big fight where you can’t see it.  For now, just keep the ceiling fans on.
  3. Sure are a lot of earthquakes lately.  Nothing severe, but the house keeps shaking.  It would make more sense if you were on a fault line.  You’re not, but maybe it’s one that hasn’t been identified yet.
  4. Somebody keeps leaving gold coins and gems around the house and yard.  Not that you’re complaining.  Finders keepers and all that.  Still, it’s getting hard to explain to the bank and local jewelers.  Also, gold coins are not as accepted as gold cards.
  5. Random bursts of wind keep knocking trees over.  This tends to happen along with sudden darkness that lasts for a second or two.  You called the local weatherman who told you to use Facebook instead.  Even then, all he could say is that predicting weather is more of an art than a science.  You get the sense that he’s been drinking to forget something.
  6. A band of short, armored men with an array of beards keep showing up on your doorstep.  Sometimes they show up with a tall, old guy that spontaneously disappears for other business.  You think you saw a kid with them too, but it could have been a trick of the light.  Unlike the people with large saddles, these guys don’t seem to take ‘No’ for an answer.
  7. Uh, you see a dragon.  Seriously, they aren’t that good at hiding in suburbia.
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